Healthy relationships:
If we live with others, at the moment, we are spending more time in the house with the members of our household. This present time has affected people in different ways, so it’s a good time to show grace to the people around us! There are four components vital to healthy relationships with others:
• Love (the appealing component) includes: “commitment, choice, work, care, liking, kindness, affection, service, attention, compassion, and generosity”
• Trust (“the most fragile of all the components”) includes: “confidence in loyalty, honesty, faithfulness, reliability, courage, and consistency.” Trust takes time to develop and if broken, it takes a long time for it to be restored”
• Respect (“the most neglected”) is: “the acknowledgement of a person’s worth. It includes honour, interest in, regard, recognition, admiration, and affirmation”
• Understanding (takes the longest to develop) includes: “knowledge, assertiveness, empathy, listening, openness, self-disclosure, sympathy, encouragement, insight, communication, and discernment”
All four components need to be present in our relationships; when one component is missing, wounding occurs. At this time, we need to stay connected and we need healthy relationships. If you live alone, I hope the people in your world initiate connection with you, because you are precious (and I hope you reach out too)! The Bible tells us, we are to love, esteem, care, help, show grace and forgive others. God affirms and encourages (2 Cor. 1: 3), and we can do the same! Jesus maintained healthy relationships and He is our example. It’s not always easy to develop and maintain healthy relationships, but it is important and benefits us, as individuals, and those with whom we have relationships.
You may have heard people say, ‘the grass is greener on the other side.’ But, the truth is, the grass is greener where you water it. If you want a beautiful garden, it requires work, but it’s worth it. The same is true for relationships; it’s worth the work! To maintain healthy relationships, work is required by each person in the relationship. Each individual is to give 100%, rather than one carrying the relationship and the other not contributing (or contributing less). But we can’t control others; we can only control ourselves. We can choose to be like Jesus, and follow His example. At times, it may be hard (this is not talking about abusive relationships), but, persevere, and ask God for His grace, strength, and wisdom and pray for God’s divine intervention in the relationship.
Reference for four components in a relationship:
Litchfield, B., & Litchfield, N. Christian Counselling and Family Therapy, Volume 1.