Welcome to the start of our ‘home improvement’!
If you were buying a ‘fixer upper’, you’d assess the condition of the home, e.g.:
• Condition of original features
• Condition of the structure
And you may ask, “is it structurally sound? Does it have potential?”
Properties can have unique features, but there are also standard features which are the same in every house, e.g. foundation, structure, roof, etc.
It is the same with us; our stories and our relationship experiences are unique to us. But just like homes, have standard features; there are also shared features in relationships – there is a pattern.
Just like we’d ask questions about the design and condition of a house, to start, here is a question on your design: “Do you realise how valuable you are?”
God created you and planned for you to be born. You are His amazing creation (Psalm 139:14; 16-17). “Before you existed in the world, you existed in His heart (Spurgeon).” “How cool is it, that the same God who created mountains, and oceans, and galaxies, looked at you and thought the world needed one of you too?”
God created you to have a spirit, soul and body (1 Thess. 5:23)!
So you can get an idea of how amazing you are:
You know, no one has the same fingerprints as you, but did you know you have a unique tongue print?
In a lifetime, your brain’s long-term memory can hold as many as 1 quadrillion (1 million billion) separate bits of information!
Look at the human eye:
• Human eyes are composed of more than 2 million working parts.
• The human eye has 576 mega pixels. And you were impressed with your camera’s mega pixels – hmmm?!!!
• Human eyes can process 36,000 bits of information every hour.
And all this by an organ that weighs approximately 28 grams.
You are amazing!
You are precious in God eyes! You have value!
And just like you are precious in God’s eyes, the people God has placed in your life are precious in His sight.
“For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us].” Ephesians 2:10 (AMP).
Let’s go back to the creation of the first humans and you’ll see just how valuable you are.
In Genesis 2:7, the Bible details in one verse, the amazing creation of man!
“And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being”.
God had a purpose in creating Adam – he was created for relationship with God. And see how much value God places on relationships? Not only was Adam created for relationship with God but God created Eve, so Adam and Eve could enjoy relationship. God said, “it is not good for man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18). We are made for relationships! God’s blueprint, His design, is that we are born into families – relationships straight from the beginning of our lives.
Adam and Eve lived in the Garden of Eden. God had said they could eat freely from every tree in the garden, except one. He gave a command not to eat from it. One day in the garden Satan came to Eve and questioned if God really had said that Adam and Eve couldn’t eat from every tree in the garden. Eve was drawn in and answered his question. Satan attempts to break down our faith in the Word of God, so he continued and pressed in with three objectives, to cause Eve to:
• Doubt
• Disbelieve
• Disobey
This account is known as the Fall, it is when sin entered the world and our sin separates us from God. But that’s not the end of the story – nothing takes God by surprise.God had a plan to reconcile man to Himself and nothing could stop Him fulfilling it. God sent His only, beloved Son, Jesus, to die for you – dealing with sin, redeeming and reconciling you to Himself through Jesus. Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, you can have a restored relationship with God!! That’s how valuable you are! God established a love relationship, which He has never been willing to cancel.
If you would like to know how you can have a relationship with God, please go to the evangelism resources on this website!
God brings restoration! We now have a restored relationship with God!! God also wants us to have restoration in our relationships with others. God designed us for healthy, satisfying and growing relationships!
Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate the fruit from the tree. “When faced with the consequences of their choices, neither Adam nor Eve was willing to take responsibility.” When God questioned them…they pointed the finger at each other. Sound familiar? If only he/she would…do this…or stop doing that…I would be happy. “ A pattern was set in the Garden of Eden.
God designed relationships and He says in His word how we are to relate to others. By God’s grace, let’s choose to follow His instructions –His pattern for relationships, rather than the pattern that came from the Fall.
Dr Gary Smalley states everything we need to know about the DNA of relationships, is detailed in the account of Adam and Eve. He brings out three important strands:
1) You are made for relationships: we need relationships – we are designed for relationships. How much are you missing the people in your world at the moment??
2) You are made with the capacity to choose: we can’t choose all our relationships, e.g. parents, siblings, children, bosses, etc. but we can choose how we act in our relationships. “Will you choose to act in ways that will hinder or enhance your relationships?” Your response (not just what you say, but what you do), to this question is a game changer –the choice you make – what you think, your words and actions, “will affect everything in your life.”
3) You are made to take responsibility: we need to take personal responsibility for our choices and actions. It’s so easy to slip into the blame game and follow the pattern set by Adam and Eve. We need to learn to master the skill of seeing ourselves in the picture and see not only how others affect us because of their thoughts, feelings and behaviours, but that we will see how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours affect us* and others around us.
*Often it’s not the situation or person that makes us feel something or respond in a certain way, it’s how we look at or interpret the situation and person’s actions. In other words, our thoughts and beliefs about an event affect our emotions and behaviour.
We are made for relationships. We are made to choose how we act in our relationships. We are made to take responsibility for our choices and actions.